Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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