I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
