My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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