The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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