the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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