Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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