We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
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i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
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You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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