I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I want to fling myself into the sun
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize