Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize