she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
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