Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
