Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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