marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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