u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
