so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
