My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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