You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
