Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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