My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
