Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
