I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
