im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
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Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
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Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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