Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Is it because I queefed?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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