he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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