ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
