Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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