im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
