I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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