i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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