is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
