wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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