wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize