Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
that is very illegal...i love you.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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