matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
