That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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