As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
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I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
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It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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