'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
