Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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