..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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