You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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