Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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