it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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