he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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