I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
