He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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