That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize