I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Randomize
