Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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