The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize