the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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