we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
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