Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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