You really coming over, don't trick.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
