You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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