Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
