YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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