Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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