Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
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