In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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