just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize
