she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
