Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Sponge bath it is.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You pole danced in your parka.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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