What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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