Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
